“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Peer Support Group

Focusing on the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover:

https://www.amazon.ca/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Schedule:

Bi-Weekly Sundays 12:00noon – 2:00pm (2 hours)
Each meeting will cover a chapter of the book:

  1. The Nice Guy Syndrome: Sunday April 29, 2018
  2. The Making Of A Nice Guy: Sunday May 13, 2018
  3. Learn To Please Yourself: Sunday June 10, 2018
  4. Make Your Needs A Priority: Sunday June 24, 2018
  5. Reclaim Your Personal Power: Sunday July 8, 2018
  6. Reclaim Your Masculinity: Sunday July 22, 2018
  7. Get The Love You Want: Success Strategies For Intimate Relationships: Sunday August 5, 2018
  8. Get The Sex You Want: Success Strategies For Satisfying Sex: Sunday August 19, 2018
  9. Get The Life You Want: Discover Your Passion And Potential In Life, Work, And Career: Sunday
    September 2, 2018

New participants are always welcome – you can show up at any point even if you haven’t been to the
previous meetings.

Fee/costs:

Free

Program Description:

Nice Guys share a common script: They all believe that if they are “good” and do everything “right,” they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. Even though this script often doesn’t work, Nice Guys are stuck, unable to break free of this pattern. The book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” describes this script in detail and suggests how men can move to a more healthy way of being. The goal is not to become a jerk, instead it is to become what Dr. Glover calls an Integrated Male:

  • He has a strong sense of self. He likes himself just as he is.
  • He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.
  • He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality.
  • He has integrity. He does what is right, not what is expedient.
  • He is a leader. He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about.
  • He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings.
  • He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.
  • He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.

This support group is for men who want to move from being a Nice Guy to being an Integrated Male. The focus is on self-reflection and self-improvement. Each meeting will cover a chapter in the book. To get the most of the meetings, participants should read the chapter before coming to the meeting and ideally do some of the exercises in the chapter. As this is a peer support group, participants will not receive therapy, counselling or legal advice and should seek elsewhere for these supports, if needed.

Meetings will take place at the Canadian Centre for Men and Families in Ottawa located at 292 Montreal Rd, Suite 302 in Vanier.

As meeting space is limited we would appreciate it if you would RSVP at ottawa@menandfamilies.org or by calling 613-518-1065

Characteristics of Nice Guys:

  1. Nice Guys are givers.
  2. Nice Guys fix and caretake.
  3. Nice Guys seek approval from others.
  4. Nice Guys avoid conflict.
  5. Nice Guys believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
  6. Nice Guys seek the “right” way to do things.
  7. Nice Guys repress their feelings.
  8. Nice Guys often try to be different from their fathers.
  9. Nice Guys are often more comfortable relating to women than to men.
  10. Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority.
  11. Nice Guys often make their partner their emotional centre.

What’s wrong with being a Nice Guy?

  1. Nice Guys are dishonest.
  2. Nice Guys are secretive.
  3. Nice Guys are compartmentalized.
  4. Nice Guys are manipulative.
  5. Nice Guys are controlling.
  6. Nice Guys give to get.
  7. Nice Guys are passive-aggressive.
  8. Nice Guys are full of rage.
  9. Nice Guys are addictive.
  10. Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries.
  11. Nice Guys are frequently isolated.
  12. Nice Guys are often attracted to people and situations that need fixing.
  13. Nice Guys frequently have problems in intimate relationships.
  14. Nice Guys have issues with sexuality.
  15. Nice Guys are usually only relatively successful.

Summaries of the book

These two videos give an overview of the book:

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